Radiation Coming Soon To A Person Near You

Had a great weekend but felt like crap. This new round of chemo is yucky. It makes my bones hurt a lot more then the other stuff did and they said it would be easier..NOT! The Hearse show was super even if I felt bad. Not only did I get to see those sweet last ride car but a couple people showed up that I hadn't seen for ages. You don't know what you have till it gone and that's how I felt.

So, this Friday I am off to the Rad place to get talked to and hopefully marked up. They tattoo ya with little dots so that they can sent up the machine and zap ya quick. The nurse told me this so I wouldn't be upset about the tattoo's. I don't think she was using her good eye that day..have you seen me sister??? You would think the one on my neck would be a sign that I like tatts..hummmmmm maybe not??

Anyway, I am excited about this journey ending soon and getting the rads just means it's almost done. The goal is almost reached and yes Mary Ellen..there is a Santa Claus and he's going to bring my hair back..hahaha. Normal will once again reign supreme and I'll wonder how I ever did any of this.

Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

Another treatment do and 2 to go. You know if I was getting over 400.00 dollars for seeing patience, I would be on time. They don't get tardies, or dock pay, these docs can show up anytime they want and just explain away. As you can tell Doc Death was late. I was there on time but I don't get paid over $400.00 to be..LOL

Anyway, everything went good with this part of the treatment expect for all the waiting and there was a lot this time. First Doc Death, then my nurse Chris who I liked the first time but don't anymore, started my drip but didn't check to see if she had turned on the meds. Again, how much do these people get payed? What should have been a 2 hour deal turned into 4+ hour but I got to have a room cause she told me I might be whacked out from this. Boy O Boy was she right.

They gave me some good stuff that I didn't even know where I was for about an hour or two. Good thing I didn't have any reaction to the meds and it did go well. Another good thing is that I am going to start my Rads sooner then expected. I wanted to get everything done before I return to work so I ask Doc Death if I could do the radiation while I was doing the last part of chemo. It's a go! Next week I go and get mapped out and off to the rads I go. They may have to give me less chemo and space out the last part of my treatment but everything should be rapped up by the time I have to come back.

That's such good news for us! Other good news is that Ken and I had a great time at the Burn Survivors car show. I even met a lady who had the same hair style as me..bald! We have another show coming up, the Hearse and Hot Rod show this Saturday May 26th. I have another blog just for our car club if you want to check it out it's WWW.roadrodz.blogspot.com or just look on this page under me or the link. Stop by and check us out, I'll be the stiffy in the chair..Love you guys

Who's Balder??

Had my wbc (white blood count) today and I am perfect. Again, that's good, so it's chemo as planned next Tuesday. While I was sitting there waiting for the results from the test, this older gentleman and I decided to have a I am balder then you contest. He won cause he shaved his head but he got to see mine which still has some faint hair on it. The whole roomed laughed at us but that was the point, to have fun. As this lady was leaving she stopped and told me her friend had chemo and her hair came back nice and thick. That was nice of her to say that but I'm not worried, I just wonder what color or if it will be straight or curly?

After chemo, your hair comes back but it comes back totally different. I don't know why but that's what Doc Death told me. It's going to be Christmas on my head..a SURPRISE! So start your betting pools but I'm betting on blond. It's going to be that color reguardless..LOL.

This Saturday, Ken and I are going to be in a car show at 5th 3rd Ball Park so if anybody is Bord Saturday..come on down! Just look for the Nova and a bald girl sitting by it. There shouldn't be to many of those around ya think??? Should be a good time but I'm a cheap date, hot dogs and a pop and I'm happy.

And, I just wanted to thank all you formerly known as JCI workers who read this and or leave comments. As I said before, I miss you people and I can't wait to see ya all again so don't quit before I get back..ya hear! I know things there are crappy now but wait till I'm there...I'll make it crappyer...hahahahaha.

What About????

Well, this last treatment really got to me. I knew that each chemo treatment builds up in your body but this time it was bad. I'm usually up and sorta running by Saturday after my treatment on Tuesday but this time I wasn't. The Neaulasta shot made my body feel like I got 2nd degree burns on it. My neck, shoulders, back and hips couldn't stand being touched. When I took a shower, the water hurt me and I couldn't stand it. It takes about two days for that feeling to ware off but it really wore me out. I was also more tired and dizzy this time but I'm always dizzy..hahahaha

My sister came over Sunday to bring me an orchid which I will kill cause I'm terrible with house plants. But she asked me questions that made me think..When will they know the chemo is working and when will you be cured???? What do ya say to those things knowing that the answer is I don't know and maybe in 5 years if nothing happens. The term living with cancer hit me then. That's what is going to happen to me, living with cancer. After all this intense care, they will turn me lose and tell me to live my life but if I have symptoms, call!

I have two roads I can go down now with living with cancer. One road would be to think about every ache and pain and call them and have un-ending Doc appointments....OR...Not thinking about it. If you know me, I'm not going to think about it again. This whole cancer thing sucks and I'm ready to be over with it. I'm sick of being sick and I'm just not going to let it control my life. It's taken up too much of my time and money as is and giving it my life would be just stupid!

I do have to wait 5yrs to see if I'm cured. That's the magic time limited they put on my cancer to show it's self again. In that time I could be ran over by a bus or all sorta terrible things so if you think of it that way, it kinda puts everything in it's place.

I wish I had better answers for this but I don't. Wish I never had cancer, but I do. Wishes are like assholes..everyones got one...hahahahaha. That puts everything into perpective..doesn't it???

Dr. Death Underling

Well, I am half way!!!!!! YEAH!!!!! Now I get to start a new chemo for 3 more time and then I'm done! Well I'm done with the chemo part then it's out comes the port and on to the radiation. This feels like it's taking forever but it's going so smoothly that I can complain much but you know I'm going to...

We went for round number 3 today and like always it goes, take blood, see Dr. Death and then chemo. Well my nurse Matt wasn't there today and I got nurse Chris. Ok, I only liked her cause her name was Chris..LOL. She hooked up my port and that hurt like hell and she took my blood. Did I mention before that I HATE needles??? So any shot or poke I can't stand. You would think after all this I would get use to it but it feels like the first time every time.

Anyway, she took my blood and then I had to go and wait for Dr. Death to come around and do his thing. Guess Dr. Death was too busy or perhaps too scared of me so he sent his underling..Sharon. She's the Dr. who works under him and the one he thinks I won't act up with cause she's a women. Well, today she had some high school child with her who wants to be a Onc big mistake..lol I was already pissed cause I just wanted my chemo and out the door happy I would go but now she's using me as a training school for some snot nosed kid who from the looks of her never worked a hard day in her life.

OK, before ya go off and say..now Chris be nice..I was up until Dr. Sharon had to explain everything she was doing and saying to me to this girl. I finally interrupted one of her speeches and say if there's not anything else, I want to get this show on the road, so if you don't mind, I'm going to get my chemo now. Ken just laughed but he wanted to get going too since he hadn't got any sleep yet. Chemo day is a long day for Ken so he gets grumpy too.

Now, I'm off to get the Neaulasted shot and try to not be so grumpy but I know that won't last. I've got a few days in the fog to go till I fell better again BUT..I am half done and that is one great feeling!!

Are We There Yet Toto?

I've had my two white count blood test since my last chemo and both turned out great! Each one my count was well above normal so I guess that 3,000.00 shot helped..ya think? Next week Tuesday is my 3rd chemo and that puts me half way. The next 3 will be of a different kind and they tell me it won't be as hard as the shit they give me now. They are only giving the worst crap in the book but if it kicks the cancer then I guess it's OK if it kicks my ass.

The picture above is what I've been doing since they told me I had breast cancer, quilting. I made this quilt and I'm pretty happy the way it turned out. I've had this idea floating around in my head so now was the time to do it. It's made of old flannel shirts and blue jean material. The back is also of flannel and the batting is an old blanket. I like to reuse things, make something beautiful or useful out of items that are on their way to the trash. The name of this quilt is..drum roll please....'Flannel Cult" When I finished this it reminded me of the dock , how cold it was and how the three of us dressed alike, in flannel. Eric, Arnold and myself all have the same flannel coat and the drivers would ask us if we belonged to a cult cause we all looked alike.

At least NOW I can say we do all look alike cause I'm bald. Maybe I'll get Kenny to take a pic of me and I'll put it up here. It's OK being bald, I don't miss my hair much but it does hurt when you burn the dome. I didn't wear a hat the other day and I got a sun burn..hahahahaha. I feel for those guys that don't have hair and get burned, it hurts! I'm going to have to get some sun screen and put it on my head. Who would have ever thought I'd be doing that? Not me. It still makes me laugh.

Go Speed Racer..GO

Well, it's been a week since the last chemo and I will say it hit me harder then the first. Having chemo doesn't hurt but it screws me up. I figured by last Saturday that I'd be back to normal but because the chemo keeps building up in my body, it took longer. It feels like everything is moving really fast and I'm in slow motion. Mostly my body hurts and my head feels like it's five times it actual size. They tell me to drink water and flush it out of my system but then I become the potty queen and I hate spending all that time flushing.

Last Saturday, I tried so hard to be able to be right to go out with some friends at night. The Road Rods is the name of Ken's car club that he has belonged to for awhile now. I met this great bunch of people two years ago and have had fun adventures with them since then. They are like family now, the kind of family you love but never tell anyone about cause they won't quite understand them. The list of characters isn't long but each one has a place in the club and in my heart.

Needless to say, I pushed myself to going which I probably shouldn't have but it was a night out, a date night. Ken and I haven't had a night out and I wanted some norm. I wanted my friends to know that I was ok even if I didn't feel like it. Sometimes you just have to feel normal and that's what we both needed. It was a great night and the only problem I had was keeping up with the conversation. It was hard for me cause my head hadn't cleared up and I still had in-land fog going on in there.

I am looking forward to all the car shows this summer. I love car shows. It's fun looking at all the hard work and love these people put into their car. And, yes, I did sew some new things for the car this year but the car didn't get new seat covers. Last year the car had it's own quilt but this year we are retiring the quilt and now have new..oh I almost let it slip. You guys are going to have to go to a car show and see the Nova to know what's new..Got ya..