Mom, Are We There Yet???

Three days and counting till chemo no more. I wonder if this will be like Christmas? You wait, get excited and poke around the present thinking you'll get that super toy that you wanted. Then the day comes and in a flurry of flying wrapping paper, you realize that you just got underwear. I am hoping that this last chemo won't be an underwear moment.
When this is done, it's done for me. I am happy that soon my life won't be caught up in Doctor appointments and exams. I'm not scared to be not going each week, cause that place is depressing. Who wants to be depressed each and every week for 6 months..not me!
I'll be done with chemo after Tuesday the 3rd and also half way done with radiation. It's going to be a big week for me and I hope there won't be any underwear surprises for me around the corner...

Yoda and Me

If I had pointy ears and green skin I'd look just like Yoda right now. The stubble that's coming in I don't think is going to stay but at least it's making me look a little normal now..hahahaha

One week and counting till last chemo and then I'm done. I want to be done cause I hate this. I hate not being myself and being bald and tired and..and..and.. The list can go on and it's long. The 4th of July will be my independence day from cancer!

Right now it looks like I'll be back to work sometime in July. I'm looking forward to that cause it is one step to normal. My rads however won't be done till the end of July which bothers me cause it will be covered under our "new company" insurance. That 6,000 bucks out of pocket cost isn't going to work well for my zero in pocket income but I guess we'll make it somehow. I am sure that pay cut I receive when I return isn't going to help my zero in pocket much either..hahahaha

Ken's son is spending some of his summer vacation with us and it's been fun. Gosh, I wish I was a kid again and got to spend the summer sleeping late and doing nothing. I'm almost doing that now except the steroids make me not sleep and the joint pain from chemo makes me do nothing. Awww, to be young again..

X Ray Vision

So far, so good. I'm on my second week of rads and things are going great. I just lay on the table and machine zaps me and DONE! No needles, no shots, no pokes, and you don't get sick. I wish all the treatments where like this! I just love me rads Doc. She looks like a mad scientist for the movies. I seem to like the weird Doctors but that's me..hahahaha

The count down has started till the last chemo..12 days and counting. Then, the Friday after that I get my port taken out. I am over joyed about that thing being removed but it's the removal that's got me a little concerned. They had to put me in the hospital to put it in under twilight meds BUT to take it out, I just go in the Doctors office. That seem just not right and seems like a Chris is going to pass out visit.

One more thing..I have stubble..hair is starting to grow back. I don't think it's going to stay but Ken thinks it will. What's the color???? Going to have to wait on that one cause it's not long enough to tell yet. Of all the things to get excited about..hair..hahahahaha I guess it's the little things now that just mean I'm coming back to the land of the living....

Race For The Cure

WE went to the race for the cure this weekend and I was blown away! I say we cause what started out to be just Ken and myself turned into our club, The Road Rodz being there too and it touched my heart. This was the first year the Race organizers had a car show and we just happened upon it when I was getting my rads. Ken thought it would be good to support since I couldn't walk this year. My chemo was the Tuesday before the walk and I just couldn't do much.
Saturday came and we where going to meet in the parking lot of I-Hop but we got there first. I can't tell you how great it was to see our Gang roll off that highway! It was very impressive. The place was the West Ottawa High School Track and Field and the grass was to die for. They really keep the school grounds very clean and nice. For the first year of doing a car show, they did nicely. Each car had a can and you could vote for your favorite by making a donation in the cars can. They told us they got more cars then ever expected and just the cars alone raised over $500.oo toward the cure.
Two things brought tears to my eyes that day..the paper bags lined the track with names and faces of loved ones that had passed with cancer or that are fighting it and the fact that a bunch of rag tag gear heads showed their support to me. Not many have and I understand the reason why..time and the lack of it BUT these guys will always wow me...

One More To Go

I got number 5 down and there's only ONE more to go. I can't believe I have made it this far without killing Dr. Death and his underling. I had a few questions about my chemo when I went in . I was questioning the fact that my kind of chemo only benefited 8% out of 100 women using the drug they gave me and also I found out that the drug could possible give me leukemia down the road. How cool is that..fight cancer and the cure drugs give you cancer back..SUPER DUPER!!!

I waited with my questions just burning a hole in my hand, all typed out, numbered with studies name and Doctors who researched it. And, much to my suprize..the underling walks in not Dr Death and I was all ready for him..Will she got the wrath of this bald, no eye lash or eye brow women. I was on fire and made her start quoting different big worded studies at me that I didn't understand BUT I understood one thing...I wasn't doing all this shit to get another cancer in the end.

I wanted clear and direct answers and I got that. I am getting the best standard care possible and new research comes out everyday which is great but I can't second guess myself on the combo of drugs they give me. While one my not work by it self alone, in comb it does help some. And as far as getting another cancer, that is a very slight risk but having my cancer come back cause I didn't take everything possible would be greater. So babies, I am throwing the sink at this and come what may, it's in Gods hands.

Well she left and I felt better and ready to get that chemo but I must have rattled her cage and she (cry baby) sent in Doc Death..hahahaha. By that time I really wasn't out for bear anymore and we had a nice chat about getting my port out and his children. I am such a pickle!!!!

While I was getting prepped for chemo, Dr. Death cam out to visit me which kinda scared me cause I know he don't like me. But we talked about stretching my chemo out so it won't be so hard on my body..NOOOOOO WAYYYY! One more shot, one more poke verses 3 once a week, No freaking way. I told him I was the disgruntled chemo girl and he told me he was the disgruntled Doc..hahaha. I guess his comment was due to the fact that I asked him if he got kick out of the Onc conference last weekend cause he drank too much when he attended those after he told me he didn't go cause of his kid. That wouldn't have anything to do with it..I don't think..Wink

Well, I'm off to rads now..one down 32 to go. I love those ladies but I think I have to take their markers away from them. they keep marking off the mountain and the stuff doesn't wash off right way. I feel like a dry erase board..Love you guys!

Summer..Summer..Summer

It's kinda funny how when you're young all the great loves of your life start in summer. You know those summer romances, you remember them, as I do too. There's all sorts of books, movies and songs on this subject which makes me wonder..will I fall in love with my Radiation?? (hahahaha)

I start my rads next week Tuesday and I am doing this along with chemo. I have to go everyday for 33 times and then I'm done with that. With the price of gas, I'll be GLAD to be done with it then I am sure. Also next Tuesday will be the 5th round of chemo out of 6. I AM ALMOST DONE!!!!!!

I went last week to get mapped out for rads which wasn't to bad. I was excited about getting more tattoos (hahahaha) but what I didn't know was how they where going to do it. I figured they'd tatt me like the artist that I had gone to before did, with a gun. WRONG!, they used India ink and a needle and it hurt like hell. YUP, a needle and we all know how much I hate those. So now I have three little dots on the mountains which should line me up to get zap.

So, I am starting off this summer with a new love. radiation and I hope it dumps in in the end like all good summer loves do......

Tum..Tum..Tums

I had a scare this week and I figured I'd share cause it along with this whole cancer thing..pisses me off. When I had chemo they do a complete blood test, which I never had a problem with. Last time, after I got home, the nurse called and asked me if I was taking a calcium supplement cause my levels where really high. Told me no and asked..is this a problem???? Oh, no...it's fine, we'll recheck next week..have a great week.

Ok, after that you would think every thing is fine and not to worry..right??? Next week came and I go to get my blood tested again like I do every week but this time they draw it from a vein which till now, it's just been a pin prick. OK, on to the nurse to get the results. Ok, now I ask her..this calcium thing is ok..right???? There's no issue with it being high..right???? Right????

Yes Mary Ellen, there's an issue with it being high! When you have cancer in your bones your calcium level is high cause your bones are trying to repair themselves. The scare with mine being high was that the cancer had spread into my bones. Now that would be something to worry about ya think?? I think that wouldn't be "fine".
Nurse told me the test results would be back the next day and she'd call me if there was an issue.

It took me two calls there the next day to find out my results. I wasn't waiting for the next shoe to be dropped on me..I wanted to know, was it high again..did my cancer some how spread! I worried my bald little head off and this. Well, now this was a kick in the pants..ready???

Before my chemo, I had taken a few Tums to settle my tummy cause I was nervous and had drank too much coffee before my treatment. The Tums have calcium in them to help your bones and such. The freaking Tums spiked the level of calcium in my blood and made it look like the cancer had spread! The blood test came back and there was no problem with it. Great huh???? SO, the moral of this little story is....Don't take Tums before a blood test..they'll think you have bone cancer.

I'm fine, pissed but fine, and now I'm off to get me some of that sweet radiation that will give me x-ray vision. So you guys better be careful around me cause I'll be able to see what ya wear under there...hahahahaha