Coffee..Comfy Clothes and Cars

I've been layed off this past week and I will say, I've enjoyed every minute of it. I worked around the house, worked on the hearse and basically did squat. Every morning I got up at 6am, made coffee and perhaps around 9-ish, started thinking about what I wanted to do. What a great life this would be every day.

The part I'm going to miss now is my morning coffee and bumming around in my Pj's. I now can make a great cup of coffee, in the past that was something I couldn't do. Maybe I can't and my taste buds have just adjusted to my crap coffee, who knows.

I've been getting the hearse ready for our next show at Fifth Third Ball Park this Saturday. This is a great show and it's the show where I fell in love with Ken. You see Ken invited me to see his car at this show about 4 years ago. Gosh I can't believe it's been that long. Anyway, he told me about his Nova and how cool it was so I thought I'd get him off my back and go see the stupid thing and maybe if I did he's leave me alone..lol

He even went so far as to draw me a map cause I'm not very good with directions if it's not in Holland. The fact is, driving to other places by myself scares me. So, after debating over if I should or not, I headed out the door, map in hand determined to get his guy off my back and see his car.

Ok, I drove to Grand Rapids and followed the map and about 60 miles out of town I realized, after asking someone at a rest stop, that I was almost to Saranac. I wasn't even close to the ball park and that stupid map was wrong. I was so pissed that NOW I was going to find that ball park and give my thoughts to Ken for getting me lost.

I found my way and found the ball park but now I had to find that red Nova in a sea of cars. I walked down every isle and then I found him! I kept thinking what a godly car and you sent me 60 miles out of my way. And when I said hi, his eyes lit up, he offered me a chair that he had brought for me. He offered me a pop and not just any pop but ones he brought for me after asking the guys I work with what kind I drank at night. He did all of this not even knowing if I was going to show up that day.

At that point, those simple jesters melted my anger and he won over my heart. We often laugh at this story and how I could drive 60 miles out of my way but that's just me. I even have the map he drew and the home phone number he wrote at the bottom, he was a sly dog. I still believe he draws wrong maps but he'll tell you he didn't...men what ya going to do with them?

It's Alive

Yes..it is alive, the flames that is... Here's the motley crew who did the deed. Ann and Bob, Thank you from the bottom of my heart and "Yes".. Ann, you are a great taper. Phil, you are a super friend and I love the fur coat..Thank YOU. Don..what can I say..Best flame man there is...

My First..

I can't believe I just won my first trophy for my hearse. It was such a cold and rainy day but we went out and figured..what the heck. Most of our club members cars are either being repaired or are still getting ready so it was just the hearse. Ken's car hasn't even been started yet. He's been spending his time getting mine ready but he's almost done. This is super and I'm so excited. It's been a long day and I'm off to put up my feet and watch a little TV...

Doctor Death..again

Well I had another appointment with Doc Death and you know things don't change much. My appointment was at 11am so they tell you to get there 15mins early so you can have your lab work done. I arrived at 10:40 and my labs where at 10:50 and then I waited till..wait for it..wait..11:40 for my name to be called into a room! That's a one hour wait and by the time I was called the lobby was so full people where standing cause all the chairs and wheel chairs had been filled.

A one hour wait there was so depressing. It brought back all the memories of that time for me. So many sick people with cancer so many who couldn't even walk in on their own. So many with no hope in their eyes and it was terrible.

After my name had been called , I then waited another 10 mins in the room for him to come in. He spent less then 5 mins with me. Asking how I felt and such and the asked me to change and he would be back. It took him another 10 mins to come back after that to do my exam and answer a few questions I had.

After the exam, he told me to dress and he'd be back. He came back after another 10 mins to tell me things where great and he wouldn't have to see me now for another 4 months! So that's another 35 mins just to be told things where great and see ya in 4 months. Ok, that is super news cause I had been seeing him every 3 months.

I went to look for my chemo nurse after that cause I like to cause her some grief since I'm there anyway.. It was so depressing to see all the chemo chairs full. I thought to myself how lucky I was to have an extra 1 hour and 35 mins of my life to be there and that I wasn't one of those in the chair... Different perspective I think.

Down the Road..

There's a song that states..You can never look back..you can never look back but I did spend some time doing that today. I let my mind walk down the road that I had closed off for awhile. I opened the box that someone once told me if I put all my memories in, they would just stay there and not in my head.

I was thinking about morning coffee and about the fact that I couldn't make a good cup of coffee to save my life. About early mornings and the smell of pines wet with dew. Picking up pine cones to make a Christmas wreath. Sitting around the fireplace warming my butt and sipping wickiy (Whiskey)..

There's more but I don't want to go to far into this box, I think I'll just shut it and put it back on the shelf. I could have went down this road and at time I wish I had but I didn't. I took a different path, my own path, one which I made for myself.

I'm not sure where I'm going for now but I know I'm going to go there in style cause it wouldn't be me if I didn't...

Billy Boy

As you can see Bill is working hard on my car. This was the first outing for Bill but I am sure there will be many more. Bill started out as a skeleton called a budget bucky. They are 4th quality medical skeletons that are sold as not quite right. Ok, I know I'm not quite right.

Now, getting him to stand on his own wasn't that easy. He has metal rods c-clapped to his knees to keep them straight. I guess you can say he had knee surgery and now has rods in place. Bill wouldn't be Bill without his work coveralls and shoes. He's also sporting one of my skull caps that I worm during my chemo last year.

Both my buddies wear my skull caps just to remind me that there is fun and life after cancer...

Getting Ready

Wow, when the weather breaks there's so much to do. I've been working on getting the hearse ready for the show season. She has a name now..Rosebud.which is really my kick name I like to use but it fit her too.

1..My friends at Speed Cult are making me two side window markers with skulls and the name Rosebud in the middle, powder coated in you guessed it..blood red.

2..I've just finished the back curtain in that Alex Henry fabric that I love so much.

3..I've had the center rims on the wheels powered coated in red and the skull from the fabric I used is now in the center cap. I had a graphic design artist copy the fabric and make vinyl centers for me.

4..The back door has been repaired with the truck bed liner that I used on the roof. And, now has a chrome skull and cross bone emblem on it.

5..The new skeleton has arrived but now I have to figure out how to make him stand by himself under the hood. A uniform place helped me with his outfit complete with his name tag "Bill". This is going to be a fun prop.

6..Holland Supply Inc which is a funeral supply place helped me with new flags and a sign for Rosebud.

7..Express Muffler put on a brand spanking new exhaust for me. Two glass packed shorties on the back which now have the two skull exhaust tips on it...SWEET!!

I'm sure I am leaving out more but hey..I'm a busy gal here...

It's That Time Of Year

Well, it's here again..SPRING. Do you know how I knew??? I got the hearse out! Drove it around the block a few times and then headed to the muffler place. I have decided to put a glass pack muffler on it with duel exhaust. I found a place on the net which I bought these skull chrome exhaust tips.



These are going to look oh so cool with smoke coming out of the eyes and mouth. Next, I spent a good part of the day sanding the back door which was really bad. You see, the hearse sat out side before I bought it for two years and the back door was scratched and very badly rusted from that.

I decided to use the same truck bed liner which I put on the vinyl roof on that. It looks great and covered the deep scratches perfectly. Next I applied a crome skull and cross bones on it. It looks great!

I brought Semore in out of the cold. He was really stiff and cold from being out in the hearse all winter long..hahaha. Here he is enjoying a warm cup of coffee.



Next on my list will be a flame paint job and a new prop which will be a mechanic called Bill Sunoco. Ok, I know I'm a little weird here but what fun I am having compared to last year at this time.

Spring Is The Thing

The calendar said the first day of spring and even the outside matched. It wasn't warm but the sun was shinning and it looked like spring. It looked like we had gotten over that snow hump and wouldn't return till next winter. But thing are not all what they look like.

It snowed about 6 to 12 inches yesterday and last night. The crappy white stuff covered and sign of spring out there including..taking the hearse out!. I put the hearse back on the insurance the first day of spring cause there's so much I want to do to her before the shows start. She is getting new exhaust tips, signs and perhaps a little paint if time and money allows.

But now, she's back under her blanket. I really hate winter.

Winter Blues

How's the weather? Colder then a ditch digger's.... Gosh there's so many of those saying that I just could go on but at the risk of offending, I'll stop..>LOL Weather has always been weird in Michigan but I just have one question...Where the heck is the global warming when we need it? Below zero, negative numbers and blizzards are all I have been hearing on the weather reports.

Where did the hole in the o-zone go? Did it repair it self? I want the unseasonal warm weather that the hole made. Maybe it's so bad now cause my car is not housed nice inside the garage. The hearse and the nova sit nice and cozy inside the car hole, while our daily drivers are now outside in the elements.

I have to face fact that this winter thing is starting to suck and I'm getting older and need warmth. We did talk about a warmer place like Arizona or Florida but we all know that's just a warm pipe dream for now.

I guess right now I'm going to go buy a can of aerosol hair spray and point it to the sky and maybe I'll make that hole come back and warm me up..hahahaha

One Year And Counting...

What do you do on an anniversary like this? It's been one year since I heard those words..breast cancer. Do you get a cake and balloons, or perhaps there's a hallmark card, they make cards for every occasions. Maybe going out to dinner and toasting to the one year, the one year that you lived hoping you weren't going to die.

I promised myself there was no looking back, no reminiscing fondly like you would of happy days gone past and old lovers. But, here I am doing just what I said I wouldn't, remembering the crap.

I'm not going to write some long recap of the year cause you all can read last years posting if you want to know how I felt or what happened. But, right now, I am going to celebrate my one year anniversary. It's not going to be with a cake or some sappy hallmark card.

So, here's to you cancer..you beat me down but I'm back up again. Care giver Kenny, who kepted me going through this all, always told me we'd look back and laugh at all of this. He was right, he's always right..NOT. He kept me going when I wanted to stop and he say..one year from now..you'll still be here.

Now I have my morning coffee and there's a fresh blanket of snow outside. The sun is coming up and it's another day. Another day to be thankful and to breath it all in...that's a celebration in my eyes.

Computer Age

Boy, what happened to the good old days?? Pictures where taken on a camera then the film was taken to get developed and you had pictures. There was also the cool Instamatic's where you took the picture, it popped out and you waved it in the air till the photo magically appeared..( those where oh so cool) I miss those days.

I have a camera that I thought was up to date cause it took pics on a thing called a floppy disk that I just inserted into my computer and "poof" there was the pic. No film, no processing and oh so with it. I used this thing for 10 years now and just recently I found out I was behind the times. Me, behind the times..hahahaha.

The camera failed on me, the floppy disk some how wouldn't load into the computer and I decided to "look" for another camera. So, off I go to Circuit City to "look" and "look" I did. Wow, my camera was in the stone age compared to the little (and I mean little) stuff they have now. I ended up going home with another Sony but it has 12.1 mega pixels and a shit load of other stuff I'll never use. The card, which holds the pictures, can hold up to 500 of them and is no bigger then my thumb nail. Not to mention it will do everything but take out the trash for me..hahah

Now.. the day before, I was burning some DVDs (don't ask me how I did that), which was for our car club. The DVD had 268 pictures and music from the entire year (2007) of our car club car shows. It was amazing how many pictures that old camera took but the quality wasn't so great. Anyway, after doing that for days, I decided to make those cool labels and jewel case covers with our car club logo on them. This should have been an easy project, easy for someone who knows what they are doing..lol

I went through twenty-one bucks of paper products just to find out that I didn't know what I was doing. Needless to say, that afternoon a new printer came into my life. Apparently, I had a stone age printer as well and I have one that will do everything but take out the trash.

It seems now that I am with it again but I still don't know what I am doing. I'm just going to hide under the covers for awhile and dream of the old days...wave me in the air till I develop

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!!! I can't believe another tax year is starting. You know, I never payed much attention to the new year. It's not Halloween or Christmas, it's just a start of another year. New start? or is it just a continuation of the past year?..Questions..questions..

I started taking down the Christmas stuff today which is always so depressing for me. And to top that off, tonight at 11pm..I'm off to work. I don't really want to go but I guess I have to pay the bills some how. It's been a good Christmas vacation for sure. I cooked, cleaned, cooked some more, shopped, cleaned again, cooked and ????, oh yeah...cooked. Wait a minute..going back to work will be easy compared to the work I did at home..hahahahaha

I'm not going to look back at last year much cause it is time to look forward. I want to spend less time on this cancer stuff but I some how know that won't happen. I'm really going to try to be more involved in the race for the cure this year. Perhaps even do a little running but I've got to lose this chemo weight of mine first. Ok, chemo and holiday weight..everything taste so good now that I got my taste buds back. I know I'll feel better if I take some of this off.

Well, Happy New Year everyone. No looking back cause didn't a song say.."You can never look back, never look back"?

There's Right and Wrong

It has been quite the Christmas here. A week before Christmas my right side ribs started to hurt. I can't tell you how scared I was about this. Cancer can travel and mine did before surgery, chemo and rads, it traveled to my lympnodes. I was scared now that it wasn't gone and had traveled to my ribs and that I now had bone cancer. But, being the stubborn dutchmen that I am, I didn't call the doc till after Christmas.

So I called and the nurse told me not to worry cause it could be just scar tissue building up. Ok, I thought, it's all fine. The, not even two hours later she calls me and tells me I have to have a chest x-ray. Now, I'm worried...big time. So we went and it was easy cheesy and they told me the results would be in the next day. I can't believed I even slept that night, so much on my mind.

Woke up bright and early, waited till after noon and I called. Everything was fine. The x-rayed showed nothing on my ribs. Hallelujah!!!! I was so worried and Ken was too. I know I could do the bone cancer but I just don't want to. I just want to be normal for awhile and enjoy life.

So that was the right and now the wrong..Amber lost her baby. Yes, I know all the it's for the best things but I am not happy about this. I know, I know, they can keep trying but..but... I guess I'll have to understand God's wishes here even if I don't like it. Amber and Josh are taking fine so I'm ok with it but my heart just breaks each time I think of it.

Christmas Time Is Here

Wow, I can't believe how fast time is flying. It's almost Christmas and I haven't begun shopping..LOL I started thinking, it's almost a year now since I started this cancer thing. Last year, after Christmas was when we found the tumor. What a year this has been! I can't believe I made it this far but since I did, I think I'll hang around for awhile. Here's some pictures that the crook who took them finally gave up at a price! I'm not going to go into this but just a word of caustion..TAKE PICTURE EVEN WHEN THEY SAY>>NO PICTURES!!!

Give Me A "G"

First off, my mammogram came back normal, which is super duper news in it's self. Next bit of news is..I'm going to be Grandma. Amber called and told me this week, she should be due in June or July. I cried again, just like at her wedding. I can't believe what a sobbing thing I've become. It's just not right what those drugs are doing to my system. And, the new drugs are working great except for the fact they will be costing me.

Now back to this Grandma thing. I can't wait! Amber talked about children like this would be far off in the future. I figured I would live to see any of her children grow up cause she would have them so late in live. I am so excited about this that I went to the fabric store and bought this baby fabric that I have admired for a year now. I was jealous of all the other Grandma's who could buy this fabric but, now it is my turn. I wonder if they make a tee shirt that says..I'm going to be Grandma..I'd wear it.

Girl or boy, it doesn't matter to me. I just want the baby to be healthy and mom and dad to be happy. Of course, now Ken and I are arguing who will be the first to hold this little Nascar hopeful. It will be me..hahahahaha. This is truly a blessing this Christmas. What a year it's been and what a year next year will be. I can't wait!!!

Mammo..Mammo

Well, it's been awhile since I written anything so I thought I better catch up. So far..drum roll please....two Doctors don't want to see me for a year, Doctor Death told me I was in menopause and I had a mammogram all this in the last two weeks. I had complained to Death that the pills they had given me made me itch and had unexplained bruising. They took me off of those and I had to have a blood test to see if I was in menopause. They did it and I am so that means I get to take another pill which (knock on wood) is not causing me too much trouble. So far, it just make me really tired and my joints are stiff. I can live with that!

I also had a mammogram which I might add...sucked. I had three Doctors in the time span of 2 weeks check out the girls and no one found anything..GREAT!!! So I tell this to the young women at the mamo place but she insisted on doing a breast exam. Now I don't mind it much but this women was on a mission. She pressed so hard I think she left bruises. I'm afraid to look and that was just the breast exam. I'm not going to tell ya how the girls looked after she did the mamo...picture a pancake...OUCH!!!

She did give me her spiel about how mammograms are so important for early detection and that I should now have them done every 6 months because I have had breast cancer. I told her that I have always had my yearly exam and as a matter of fact..my last mamo should have pick up on the tumor that was forming but it didn't. I also said that if it was such a great early detection tool, why didn't it "detect" my tumor and why does it fail so many other women? She didn't say too much about that but she didn't say that she knew that and understood my point. So much for their detection tool.

I understand that it does save countless women from their cancer becoming advanced breast cancer but it does fail and the only sure thing is an ultra sound but insurance company don't pay for that as a diagnostic tool. Some insurance don't even cover mammograms and women even go without that. I can't understand it but some women don't get this done cause they are afraid of the discomfort that it causes them even if insurance covers it. Breast cancer causes MORE discomfort then this exam, which is what I tell women at work who tell me they don't have it done cause it hurts. That just makes me laugh but I hope I get my point across.

Needless to say..I'll be having this done again in 6 months, even if it's not the best tool. At least we women have it and I'm still here to rant about it..

One Down..

Yesterday I had my first Doctors appointment since I finished rads a few months ago. Dr. Watson was my radiation Doctor. What a swell lady!She is the one that gave me those heart shaped glasses to wear on my last rads treatment. She is so weird and funny! She also talks in real people terms, which I love!!


Anyway, I figured I'd drive the hearse to that appointment so she and the staff could check her out. On my goodness, they laughed so hard. They all think I have a super sense of humor cause I told them all that I was a driver..not a rider.. It didn't even bother any of the people there getting treatment like I thought perhaps it would.

I passed this appointment with flying colors. Everything looked great with no masses or lumps forming. I did have some swelling but that should resolve itself in a years or less time. Now, the good news..I don't have to see her again for a year. YEAH!!!! Next week however is Doc. Death and my surgeon...then hopefully I won't have to see the surgeon again. I know I have to see Doc Death every 3 months for a year and so on and so on...great..

Dr. Watson did make an appointment for me to get a mammogram and I will have to have one every 6 months on the effective breast. They want to keep checking to make sure no cancer and that it's healing right. She also reminded me that in a few months it will be a year that has gone by.

That kinda floored me, a year since we found this. A year...where did it go???? When we found this and when I had it removed and treatments..it felt like forever. Every day dragged on and every thing as a small battle in it's own right. Now, I'm back to work and my energy is getting back. It seems like nothing happened at all. All I have to remind is a few scares, short hair and Doctor appointments that I don't want to go to.

Hope next weeks appointment with Doc Death goes well and it's just another pill to try with no surgery. Like I said before, I'm done with surgery, at least till every other avenue has been tried. I'll just keep my mind on the Halloween and the Trunk or Treat. Our neighbor Bob goes to the church I'm going to. He's cooking the dogs for the event and informed Ken that at least 400 dogs where being cooked. I ran out and bought some more candy. 400 dogs..that's quite a few kids. I'll post what happens next week both on the Doc's and the fun stuff...

Falling Leaves

Here we are at one of the last cars shows of the year..The Bangor Apple Fest. It was a great time and can you believe it was 85 degrees in October??? It was hot this year and last year we froze, guess this is global warming fokes

I love the fall always have always will. I don't know what it is about this time of year but I feel alive. Full moon's, crisp air, the color in the leaves and the orange pumpkins, maybe it's all of those thing that make me love fall. Speaking of pumpkins, I went to the farmer's market and bought pie pumpkins. They made such wonderful pies that I went back the next week and bought a few more to keep for Thanksgiving.

It's so hard to believe that summer is gone, that time went so fast but I'm going to enjoy fall. There's a trunk or treat that I'm going to go to down the road at a church. The kids seem to love the hearse with all it's decor so they'll love it more with CANDY..LOL I'm stocking up right now cause I think these trunk or treats draw a big crowd. After Halloween, the hearse gets put up for the season. That's so sad cause I had so much fun but I can dream about next years when it gets a new paint job.

Ok, here's an update on how I'm feeling. I'm allergic to the anti cancer medicine they have given me. I don't know what is going to happen next but I'm going to tell ya this...I'm done with this cancer stuff. Please pray that I'm into menopause so they can just given me another pill to take. I don't want anymore operations cause I have a feeling they will want to take my ovaries out. My cancer feeds on my estrogen that my girls make and that's why we want me to be in menopause...no estrogen. I'm hoping that at the end of the month when I see Dr. Death he will have something else to try beside removing the gals...anyway, I am feeling good and work sucks. We all knew I'd say that sooner or later..LOL

Birthdays..Who Needs Them????

Remember those childhood birthday, I do. My Mom would sit me on the table right next to the cake and take a picture, she did that one time and after that I have no memories of my birthday. Maybe I chose to forget those times in my life or maybe they weren't remembering? I don't have a clue as to why I hate my birthdays..but I do.

It's just another day..right? Another mile stone set in place. Another year past with all the things I said I do but never got to them. One more down and more to go. This is a day we look back and remember the things we could do before we got older....not this year!

I still don't like my birthdays but I think I like them better now. Cancer makes you rethink the whole birthday deal. Maybe, just maybe, birthdays are good. It does make another year that I am here, that I "made" it. I can now look back today a sigh about all the things that made up last year. What a year it was. Who would have thunk it, not me, not even in my wildest dreams.

I still wish that birthdays where like they where when we where children, they where full of excitement, presents and CAKE! That wonderful cake, gosh how I love cake..LOL

Now, don't think I didn't get any of those things today, I did. I had a nice dinner with Ken at our favorite spot, The Elbo Room and Ken did buy me a present, a blender. I made my birthday cake, which I might ad was yummy but this still didn't feel as much fun as when I was a child.

Oh well, maybe the point here is , birthday wishes....I have a few..(smile). So, I'm going to close my eyes and wish for..wait..I can't tell you cause it won't come true...Another year older but not much wiser..hehehehe.